Who Here Likes Crazy?

The scene at the beginning of the clip in the last post is John Adams's pro-Declaration speech. The vote comes to 12 for, 1 (NY) abstaining. There is a great shot after the vote, where the camera sorta pans around the room as the realization of what they're doing really hits them.

( Everyone looks like they're trying to remember how to exhale. )

See also: missmp's gurnal for this lovely and appropriate tribute. "World wide web? Is there a way to put this on just the American part?" I'm sayin'!

Stay tuned for: More family photo scans, possible* pics of a new (extremely nerdy, holiday-related) tattoo.

*I haven't gotten it yet but if I do...

Presently I am suffering from walking pneumonia and sciatica. I have never felt more like an old man in my life. Sigh. Gah. Also, I'm only two days into my five-day, 50-hour work week and I'm already annoyed and exhausted. Will update more when in less pain.

Hey, I haven't had a chance to individually thank everyone, but I really appreciate all the congratulations you folks gave me for the book deal. It really means a lot to me.

More France trip next week, I promise.

OK I have to turn this day around already.
The soldering iron here has already irritated me and I only pulled two parts. I even cheated and cut the leads so I could get to them better. The iron is edsyn and I can tell you I will never buy one!

I did not eat this morning and I lifted last night and I stayed up pretty late last night and I decided to start skipping coffee today. I am thinking these are a bad combinations of things. I figured out that between my two cups of coffee every day and the one soda at lunch I am adding almost 400 calories to my diet that I was not accounting for. Well I was accounting for the soda but not the coffee. I did not realize non-dairy creamer had so many calories in it.

Bought a camera on e-bay last night. It is a cannon powershot s2 it is used. I payed 100 for it and I lost several others that ended earlier in the day for close to 150. I figured I did alright. Now I have to figure out payment. They want me to use dealtree but it did not work for me. They say paypal is the preferred payment method but you have to go through dealtree to create your invoice. I could get the invoice but it would not let me link to paypay correctly to pay. I e-mailed them and told them I was not dealing with dealtree to just tell me where to paypal the money to. What a pain why do they do that crap?

My son will be spending the night at a friends house on Sat so I am going to go out and see if I can find some fun to have. I am not sure what I will do yet but there are a couple of options. There is a singles dance here in town. That might be OK. There is always the bar scene, time before last time I went out there were women flashing people their titties which is always good. I am leaning toward the dance. If it sucks I can always go somewhere else.

I am not the biggest fan of summer, not at all. But, I have been enjoying it lately and here are some reasons.

• Summer produce. I talked about this on my other blog - illustrated with Etsy finds.

• Summer reading. I decided that this year I would reread my most favorite of books. I am kind of a slow reader, in actual reading time, but also because I don't make a lot of time for it. I am so enjoying my current and first revisit, however, that last night I read for almost 3 hours. My current favorite read: Hard Laughter by Anne Lamott. This is her first book - before she quit drinking, before she had a baby and before she found Jesus. It is autobiographical and it makes me miss the old Marin County I never knew. It is really good. As usual, her stories are funny and self-deprecating and insightful. I relate to her so much in this book. I did even more almost 20 years ago when I read it the first time.

• Summer swims. Even though the Chunky Dunk on Sunday was canceled a half an hour in due to thunder and lightening, it was still so much fun to be in the pool with a bunch of old friends I haven't seen in a long time. I am also enjoying my Wednesday night water aerobics class and soon I hope to be swimming some more.

• Summer vacation. I am leaving next week for a family vacation. We have never taken one all together and we are all worried we will get annoyed with each other. I think it is inevitable and should just be expected. We are going to Whidby Island and I am looking forward to the Island air and watching the water and sitting in the sun, oh and hanging out with the family. This is the house we will be in. It has wi-fi and of course I am bringing the lap top, so you might see posts form there as well.
  

i've been meaning for a little while now—a couple of weeks—to get back to posting here.

the biggest block in the way of doing so has been the fact that i didn't post anything of real import for so long. and i don't know how to compose a general-audience recap of the past several months. when i mentioned this to elusis, she kindly reminded me that i don't have to.

let me see if i can come up with a suitable summary of where i am now, rather than try to cover where i've been. figuratively speaking.

i'm living in the same place i've been, with the same humans and animals as the last time you checked. still in the flat a block from alamo square park, with my husband the hoptoad, housemates anomic and delirious bee, our three cats and d'bee's little dog. and one lonely, long-lived madagascar hissing cockroach. my girlfriend, the ladybug, is still living in el cerrito, though she'll be moving to santa cruz before long, to pursue her doctorate.

i'll be thirty-five on august fourth. i still have red hair, varying from orange-red to burgundy, and it keeps growing. it's waist-length now. i accidentally broke my glasses frames a couple of months back, glued them back together, then broke them again, and i haven't been able to fix them again since, so i mostly wear contact lenses when i'm out in the world now. i'm still enjoying wearing lots of color.

i've been unemployed since the end of may. it looks like in a couple of weeks i'll be starting a contract job, "clicking on the internets" as the friend calls it who referred me for the work. i'll continue to look for a new-career position; that is to say, no more reception or office administration. nine and a half years of that was about it for me. i interviewed, on a friend's recommendation, for a community management post, and realized that it was work that i think i could really get my brain into, something which could engage my interest and challenge me. imagine that, doing something for a living which i can't just do in my sleep and forget about when five o'clock rolls around. i didn't get that position (i understand someone else came along in the following week who had more experience in the field), but it helped me direct my efforts at finding something new. other friends have talked to me about project management (in the non-construction-industry sense), and that also sounds like something i could sink my teeth into.

meanwhile, i've been playing bookworm, walking, listening to baroque music and old time radio (oh, and getting addicted to andrew bird), and most recently, becoming obsessed with this site: colourlovers.

You Are a Summer Person

You are energetic, outgoing, and active. You love to be out and about... hanging out with friends or getting things done. Summer is the perfect time for you to be as hyper as you want to be. In fact, during the rest of the year you feel half-asleep!

I don't normally post the results of these, but this one line really rang true for me: "during the rest of the year you feel half-asleep".

but until i can figure out a way to put word to mouth (or keyboard, in this case) it's all going to stay inside my confused little head.

i will say this: my friend JR has, as usual, left me with something to think about now that i'm home from my visit. in the wee hours of saturday morning we were talking about serious stuff ^TM when he paused for a second, then looked me straight in the face and said...

"moya, everyone who knows you, who you are and what you've done with your life, everyone sees you as EIGHT FEET TALL. why do YOU see yourself as being no taller than ONE FOOT?"

Today I'm doing two things I've never done before:

1. I'm getting FOUR FILLINGS REPLACED--mercury amalgamate for enamel. This may result in slightly less Crazy. The dentist, Dr. Voget, is nice and gives me lots of nitrous, because I am a Fearful Patient. He plays easy-listening music on his PA during all procedures, and the nitrous makes these songs sound very, very experimental.

2. I'm taking my little bicyclist-murdering car to get washed. I have never been involved in the washing of an automobile before. I hope it feels as satisfying as washing my hair. At the very least, people will stop writing "WASH ME" and "NEIL WAS HERE" in the dust on my car, and that'll be nice. Fuck you, Neil! Stop writing on my car, you jerk!

I have no idea why I'm being this careful about my makeup. I'm just going to be drooling down my own chin all afternoon while listening to Lionel Richie's "Penny Lover" power-noise extended mix on KIXI Lite FM. Maybe it was all the eyebrow talk with gynocide yesterday?

hazeldragon, if you want me to mail your friend a signed copy of Sex & Bacon, let me know! Just click on the link on my User Info page for shipping/payment. I'll bring it to the Post Office tomorrow!

Okay, time for a little pre-dentist crispy maple bacon.

I have my appointment today at 4 in Havre de Grace (far).  So I have approximately 4 hours to get my samples all ready.

I hope I have enough time.

( Cut for the tweet-phobic. )

in order:

1. i was introduced to the kings of leon by a girl i used to work with that i found out later used to be a porn actress in CA.  that explained why her casual, sometimes disturbing kinky sex references uncomfortably pervaded nearly every conversation.  in addition to recommending kings of leon, she also advised that i read some jt leroy, and since i bought that book with faith in her taste, i haven't been the same. pedophilic gay prostitution, torture and rape written by an author who may or may not be one or two people, male or female. (google jt leroy and you'll see what i mean.)  in any case, her musical recommendation filled a void in my collection for southern-tinged swagger-rock, the kind where it doesn't matter if the words kind of run together in a pseudo-drunken, cocky kind of way.  if a person talked like that, i'd likely judge and hate them.  but when he sings like that, it's kind of irresistible.



2. soon after, i was listening to "aha shake heartbreak" all the time in my car.  it made me feel like a dangerous driver, and possibly the closest i've been able to relate to dukes of hazzard, like, ever.  i distinctly remember picking kristen up from my/our old efficiency apartments on 26th street and wearing the outfit i considered at the time to be the height of "granny/ geezer chic," a flowered bias-cut tan skirt, a drapey kelly green tank, a big plastic purple flower ring and chunky heels of some sort (red?).  i remember eating dinner at a baby a's with her boss at the time, an older brunette lady with a smoker's voice and brassy sense of self who was moving away in some matter that involved a man.  she thought i was the coolest, and wasn't shy about saying so.  it felt nice, especially from a bona fide adult since it felt like i was just pretending back then.



3. i got into the car to the sound of a guitar strumming in a syncopated rhythm, low notes intertwining with high ones in a catchy way. he smiles at me and we drive down my street in search of something to eat. i realize that the voice in the song belongs to kings of leon, and while i had downloaded the very same album, i had neglected to listen to it.  i say as much, and we start talking about music and decide to play stump the chump: ipod battle edition. it's incredibly fun and even a bit challenging! we mutually impress each other and yes, stump one another with our collections.  later on we're just hanging out in my apartment, talking and listening to music.  he requests "ragoo" again and when the song i'm playing finishes, i comply.  once the song begins, i see something in him give and it's like he can finally relax; he just needed to hear that song at that moment, like a craving.  it's nice to have somebody else around that can relate.

if ever in my life before i have complained about being apathetic and bored with my life, i take it all back now.  all of those times combined have karma-ed their way into this big, jumbled rubber band life-ball of confusion and turmoil.  i know for sure there were times not too long ago where the highlight of my week consisted of watching monday night sitcoms on cbs (i loved their lineup, what can i say?) and eating takeout.  that time was satisfying in another kind of way-- perhaps while sprawled on my couch, my system was quietly saving its energy for the rough chop ahead.

never before have i been so ready for a getaway, and never before have i so dreaded a vacation.  needless to say, it feels like no matter what i do here, i won't win.  i hope i am wrong here.

what i'm leaving behind: a romantic affair of sorts that is fraught with both exhilarating joy and difficult, possibly heart-breaking decisions; a work environment so tense it is likely to shatter at any moment; an apartment with a possible sugar ant problem.

what i'm about to embark upon: a very long, hot road trip with family-- known to be full of emotional explosives when any number of hot buttons are pressed at any time.  and boy there a lot of hot buttons! a 3 - minute phone conversation with my mother just now (with the original intent of asking if there was anything i should take care to not forget) resulted in one such explosion. it is hard to believe that we will make it there and back and be okay.

i am reticent to delve into more detail, but i assure you that none of these points are in any way exaggerated, unfortunately.  one thing is for sure, this fourth of july (and the week to follow) will be packed with fireworks exploding in the sky, but what exactly will give way to explosion, i have no idea.

oh well. i got my lip waxed and my toes done today, so if anything else, i can face the world with the farce that i've got some things under control. and hey, nobody ever said life was easy, right? right. things could be much worse.

( Totally, completely work-safe. Unless your boss hates trees. )

1.  Called my client today. Set up a meeting for tomorrow, time tbd.  I am going to ask her for a deposit of at least $300 - so I can pay my rent.

2.  Our friend Andy moved in across the parking lot today. We helped him unload some things. His apartment is a mirror image of ours, it's kinda neat. Only differences are in the kitchen, he's got tile countertops and a different vinyl floor tile.  Oh, and he got new carpet, we didn't. I think it's because they knew we were coming in with two cats. I don't mind.

3.  I got all the stuff together today for our flagpole at All Good. Now we just need to hook up the rigging and do a test run to make sure it works.  I've got to start dragging out all the All Good gear so we can start sizing up what we've got and what to bring and all. Gonna travel light this time.

4.  Talked to the lady from Toby's Dinner theater today, I'm going to be scene painting their production of The Producers. :D And I just found out today it's a paying gig!!

5.  I applied for a job at Boordy Vineyards today, doing anything they had available. I hope it pans out!!

( Cut for the tweet-phobic. )

WHY CAN'T I STOP LISTENING TO DOES IT OFFEND YOU, YEAH?????????

Damn them for only playing two shows on the NIN tour, and neither of them being on the west coast! Weaksauce.

Going out tomorrow for the first time in two weeks. I'll have to write the story of what happened the last time I went out just so I can have it here to look at and laugh at and think 'well, that's the kind of dumb shit kids in their twenties do.' Preview: it involves drunk dialing!

When we were in downtown Disney last week, we stopped by Sephora where I bought this. It was kinda weird when I was washing my hair because it felt like my hair was really dry and almost like there was some kind of buildup in it, but when I put in my conditioner my hair soaked it right up. But my hair is literally minty fresh now.

Oh yeah, I banged the hell out of my knee at work the other day. I was on phones and was getting up to tell one of our 37 managers that she had a phone call when I got up really fast and hit my desk so hard that it made a nice bang sound. The call was transferred and soon after a nice little lump, almost the size of a dime had formed where I hit it. I spent any free moments throughout the day accosting the people that came through the office, showing off my injury and demanding sympathy. I even lotioned up my legs so they wouldn't be ashy when I raised my pant leg. I don't fuck around.

Annnnnnnnnnnd finally, of course my work-crush is the kind of sweet, hot, helpful son of a bitch who, when you mention his name and "cute" in the same sentence, the other girls give a nod and go "yeaaaaaah. Of course he is, because that's the kind of awesome luck I have. WHY WAS I CURSED WITH GOOD TASTE IN MEN?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Current reviews of Sex & Bacon:

Lesbians love me ('cause they know that I can rock). (Scroll down to #3.)

I'm feeling frisky already, thanks--maybe a little too frisky.

A really fabulous, thoughtful review from--who knew?--Barnes & Noble.

And finally, a word from Mr. Crazypants.

Also--to listen to the interview I did with Tony Dushane (Drinks With Tony) via podcast, click here and select June 26 - Sarah Katherine Lewis.

Easy-peasy, puddin' and pie! I haven't listened to it yet so please tell me if I come off like a stuttering, lisping freak.

Tony is the Magic Man of radio--funny, polite, well-spoken, and always genuinely entertaining. Obviously I'm going to have to write a third book so I can go on his show again. Plus, he's pretty damn foxy. LADIES BEWARE.

*****

Today I was driving fast down Mercer Street, and a bicyclist leaped out like a deer in front of my car, against the light. I slammed on the brakes hard hard hard, the tires squealed (just like in the movies), and I smelled burnt rubber. I managed not to kill the bastard, but at great psychological cost.

This is not the first time in my short driving career that someone's tried to commit suicide by car using my vehicle.

Here's the thing: if you would like to commit suicide, please DO NOT DO IT ON MY CAR. Believe me when I say I have the cheapest liability insurance possible, so if you hurt my car in your attempt at self-deliverance I will not only have to live with the fact that you died on my car, but my car in fact will probably be totaled with NO insurance bail-out. This leaves you dead (meh) and me traumatized and vehicle-less (a great tragedy).

If you want to die, I will help you purchase a perfectly good firearm. I'll even hold your bike while you blow your head off. But please, please, bicyclists--stay away from my little car. Stop trying to jump out in front of me. Red lights are, in fact, red for you too. They mean Stay back and do not ride directly into traffic. See? Okay?

Fucking bicyclists. I used to be sympathetic but now you just scare the crap out of me with your daredevil suicide moves, and that makes me hate you.

A cold plum straight from the fridge is so very good. Even when eaten over the sink as it drips cold plum juice down your arm.




This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

-- William Carlos Williams